2 months ago I began dreaming. We had just sent in the final payment for our 4th child’s first year of college. 3 more years and all our children would be successfully launched. We could invest, plan for retirement, and travel. My husband is self-employed. His income has allowed us to put 4 kids through 12 years of private school and college. Our priorities may have been different than others, but we made the best decision for our family.
While my husband did his best to plan for the future and keep himself healthy, we didn’t anticipate the government ever telling the entire world to stay home and stop working. We didn’t anticipate not having an income when we were willing and able to work. Life for us has stopped in many ways.
Yesterday my husband went to the Urgent Care with chest pain. He did not have a heart attack and chances are good it’s stress related. But being self-employed in California our healthcare costs are astronomical and so health issues only add to our stress.
We have tried to keep a positive attitude. We have great faith and know that God has us in the palm of his hand and yet we do get discouraged. The Government has closed hiking trails and beaches so the places I would go to catch my breath when I am stressed are now closed to me.
I have friends on both sides of politics, and I am not here to talk politics. I have friends who rant on social media to “STAY HOME”. I get that. Honestly, I want to do that. I want everyone to be healthy and safe, but I do not want to do that at the risk of losing everything we have worked our whole lives for. Yes, there are stimulus checks that we have not received, and loans we do not qualify for. There are people who do not fit in all the boxes. I am so grateful that many of my friends are still receiving their salary while working at home. I wish that were our story. But it is not, and it is not for many others like us. We are frightened about our future and do not see much hope ahead.
While our government is offering stimulus checks for everyone, in my opinion they should be providing mental health care for everyone during this time. Mom’s homeschooling need mental healthcare. Isolated people need mental healthcare. People in fear of losing their jobs, or their businesses need mental healthcare. I fear we are going to see our suicide rates skyrocket as more people feel hopeless. I am not hopeless. I know this. I have Jesus. But it is still a very scary time.
During this time, I have encountered so much meanness and rudeness. Much of it in the name of fear. Virus fear. Economic fear etc. People who have purposefully tried to embarrass me because I am not following the exact same practices that they are. I have posted so many times on social media to “BE NICE.” You truly have NO IDEA what other people are struggling with during this time. While you may want everyone to stay home to flatten the curve, I may just want everyone to get back to work so I do not lose my home. While you are worried about people wearing masks or gloves, someone else maybe losing a loved one. People are tired. People are hopeless. People are scared. Your harsh words could be a “last straw” for someone who is hopeless. There are people who are not getting stimulus checks. There are people who cannot feed their children. Today you can choose to help or hurt. Why not choose to help?
The picture below of my pride and joy, my life’s work is just one representation. There are many, many more like us. Everyone is doing their best. Not everyone will wear a mask. Not everyone will sanitize the way you do. People will disagree with your opinion. People will want to get back to work. People will want to get back to normal. Be Kind.
flyingheartranch 